


Mutiny Enforced Bonding

by VeetVoojagig



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Dialogue-Only, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Homestuck Writers' Discord Challenge, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Who Knows?, possibly, spaceship au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 14:12:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10923459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeetVoojagig/pseuds/VeetVoojagig
Summary: Moirails know best. So they get up a plan to force the Captain to spend time with his navigator. Maybe all this tension will finally be addressed!





	Mutiny Enforced Bonding

**Author's Note:**

> For the Homestuck Writers' Discord Server Dialogue Only prompt.

“Shhhhh! Oh my cod, they’re coming! Get ready!”

“Ow, you’re the one thouting, FF. I’m alwayth ready.”

“I said SHHHH! Get in position. Annnnd now!” 

 

“Ugh. What the sweet almighty taintchafing fuck just happened?”

“Oh, you’re awake. I miss the quiet already. Even if it was boring.”

“Captain? Ow. What’s going on? Fuck, are we under attack?”

“We’re in the brig. Our own brig. They hit us with some type of soporific gas. You got hit harder with your lowblood weaknesses.” 

“Fuck you. Are the others all right? What happened? There weren’t other ships on the scanners!”

“From the giggling I heard I’m assuming this was Fef’s idea.”

“WHAT? The princess? Our passenger? What the grubfucking hell?”

“The mustardblooded freak must have helped her.”

“Why the globefondling fuck would he help HER?”

“Your moirail didn’t tell you he’s been defiling our princecess?”

“WHAT?”

“Obviously not. Ugh. I don’t know what she sees in him. Disgusting, if you ask me. She deserves better.” 

“Wait, you’re saying our moirails knocked us out and locked us in the brig?”

“Will you stop being so pandead and pay attention? Yes, that’s what happened! Go back to sleep, I can handle this on my own.”

“Fuck that. And fuck you. Move over, I want to sit down.”

“You were fine lying on the floor before.”

“I was unconscious!” 

“I don’t see much difference, except your mouth is moving now.”

“Shut your squawkblister.”

“Don’t talk to me that way! I am your captain.” 

“Not anymore, you’ve been overthrown.”

“I have not.”

“You’re in the fucking brig, asshole! It’s a mutiny!”

“Sigh. It’s not a mutiny. It’s our moirails interfering in what they think is a helpful manner.”

“Did you just fucking say ‘sigh’ instead of actually sighing?”

“Vantas…” 

“Wait. Wait. Fuck that, wait a goddamn minute. They locked us in a room together because they think we should be quadranted?”

“It took you that long? I thought you were the master of romance.”

“SOLLUX FUCKING CAPTOR OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!”

“They’re not answering, I already tried, idiot.” 

“Don’t sneer at me, fishface!”

“Just sit down and shut up.”

“You’re on the only bench in here.”

“Like I said, you were fine on the floor earlier.”

“Move over.”

“Hey, get off me!”

“Then move over!” 

“Fine, wwhatever.”

“Oh, what’s that, a little seadweller accent peeking out? You upset or something?”

“Vantas, shut up!” 

“Make me! Mmmph!” 

“What are… you going… to say about… that?”

“You… you kissed me.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Oh.” 

“Oh?”

“Do it again?”

“Mmmm.” 

“Ohhhh. 

“Kar…”

“Yeah?”

“I nevver said howw beautiful you are.” 

“Oh, Eridan…” 

 

“Wait, they’re fluthth? What the hell?”

“Hee hee. You owe me ten ceagars.” 

“Thut up, FF.” 

 

“So, uh, Kar…”

“Yeah?”

“You wwant to, I don’t know, hang out sometime?”

“Oh my gog, that was the worst way to ask someone out ever.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Eridan, would you join me for dinner tomorrow night? If we’re not still locked in the brig, that is. Fuck. This bench is horrible. Oh. Heh. Okay, that makes it a little better.” 

“Yeah, I thought so, too. Mmm.” 

“I’m actually starting to get comfortable.” 

“Go to sleep, Kar. I’ll look after you.”

“Mm. Okay.” 

“You’re the best navigator I’ve ever had, you know.”

“Yeah, I do. I’m the best there is.”

“Kar…”

“What, you want me to lie?”

“No, just… never mind. I’m glad you joined the crew.”

“Because I’m the best? Or because I’m cute?”

“Both?”

“Good answer.” 

“Ehehe. Mmm.”

“Hey, that tickles!” 

“Ow, watch the fins, they’re sensitive!”

“Oh, sorry.”

“It’s okay. Just be careful.”

“Like this?”

“Oh! I, ahhh, yeah. Like that. Ohhh.” 

 

“Okay, grothth, I’m letting them out.” 

“Aww, Sollux!”

“Look, I don’t want to hear what happenth necktht, let’th let them out and go have our own party.”

“Sollux…”

“Don’t pout like that, FF, it’th gonna be great.”

“We shouldn’t interrupt them! It will ruin everyfin!”

“Tho leave ‘em locked up and let’th go.” 

“Sollux, that’s mean!”

“Ehehehe, yeah. But they won’t notithe.”

 

“Eridan?”

“Yeah, Kar?”

“Get your hand off my ass. What the fuck, we haven’t even gone on a date yet. What kind of floozy do you think I am?”

“Wwhat, I wwas just…” 

“Shut up, Eridan, just keep it cool, okay?” 

“I wwasn’t tryin’ anything, I just mmph mrrg.”

“Okay, there. We’re good, just shut up.” 

“Kar?”

“What is it, Eridan?”

“You’re beautiful.”

“Hehe. Aww. You too. The cape makes you look like a tool, though. You should quit that.”

“Hey! It makes me look regal.”

“No. It really doesn’t.”

“Hmph.”

“You’re handsome, though. Really.”

“Thanks.”

“I can’t wait till dinner tomorrow.”

“I can’t wait to get out of this cell.” 

“Oh, yeah. That. Shit.”

“I made you forget?”

“Don’t get smug, fishface.”

“Too late.”

“I know. You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“Hey, Fef? Can we come out now?”

“Of course!”

“Oh, fucking hell, they were fucking listening? That is not cool. Sollux, I will fucking destroy you.”

“Ehehehe. Good luck with that, KK.”

“Just shut your mealtunnel and let us out.” 

“I’ll let FF do that, hehehe. I’m getting out of here.”

“Hey, Captain, can you toss my moirail out the airlock or something?”

“I could, yeah, but Fef wouldn’t like it. And you wouldn’t either.”

“Siiiiiiiiiigh.”


End file.
